Anton Ferdinand: ‘I have kicked myself for years for not speaking out’

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Former defender discusses the pain of the John Terry incident, the abuse his mother suffered and his documentary on racism

‘I carried the burden of not speaking out for so long, for nine years,” Anton Ferdinand says as he explains how haunted he has been. Ferdinand suffered terribly as the victim in the most controversial incident of alleged racial abuse in the history of English football. During a Premier League game between Queens Park Rangers and Chelsea in October 2011, John Terry said the words “fucking black cunt” in a spat with Ferdinand that ended up in court and the subject of a Football Association disciplinary hearing – which cost Terry the England captaincy.

Until now, however, the world has been oblivious to the pain Ferdinand endured. His decision to remain silent burned a hole inside him. “I have kicked myself and beat myself up for years for not speaking out,” he says quietly. This is Ferdinand’s first interview since participating in a searing and deeply moving BBC documentary – Football, Racism and Me – which will be screened a week on Monday.

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Written by Donald McRae
This news first appeared on https://www.theguardian.com/football/2020/nov/20/anton-ferdinand-i-have-kicked-myself-for-years-for-not-speaking-out-john-terry under the title “

Anton Ferdinand: ‘I have kicked myself for years for not speaking out’

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